tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post3214266906140150494..comments2023-08-27T04:22:55.468-07:00Comments on The Literary Lab: Experiments and LossUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger26125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-65794677391464022102010-04-16T06:44:11.676-07:002010-04-16T06:44:11.676-07:00Zuccini: Ummmm, thanks for the...rewrite. After yo...<b>Zuccini:</b> Ummmm, thanks for the...rewrite. After yours and Scott's excerpts I think, somehow, this scene isn't going to make it back into my book. It's supposed to be from a dream, which is why it's all wispy and whatever, but now I'm not going to be able to continue without guns and cell phones parading in. You both have very active imaginations. :)Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-62438594154613300562010-04-16T06:07:56.670-07:002010-04-16T06:07:56.670-07:00I'll give it a try.
Spring had aged into sum...I'll give it a try. <br /><br />Spring had aged into summer by the time she returned to the meadow. She mopped sweat from her brow, thankful for the soft wind blowing from the east. She spread the blanket on the grass and settled her self comfortably, laying on her back, knees bent, and her face tilted up at the sky. All was quiet except for the hushed murmur of leaves and a gentle buzz of flies. <br /><br />"Do you remember me?" A voice said <br /><br />She did, all too well. She sat up, not exactly surprised. "I thought you were in prison." <br /><br />"Broke out just this morning," He said, pointing the gun at her head. "Now get up to your feet, and take of your shoes." <br /><br />She did as she was told, and he directed her to a path she had never been on before. The grass was traded for dirt and sticks. There were patches where the earth might have felt good against the soles of her feet, but mostly the going was rough. If she ran, she wasn't getting far, not without shoes. And he knew it, giving her a wink and a little chuckle. <br /><br />She listened for any hint that another person might be out hiking. All she heard was the buzz of flies, now frenzied and growing intensity. A little further on the smell of decay stabbed her in the face. She stopped in her tracks. <br /><br />"Don't kill me." <br /><br />"Now why would I do that," he said. "I just wanted to show my maggot farm." <br /><br />"Escaping prison and escorting me at gun point is a little extreme don't you think?" She said. <br /><br />He looked at the gun, titled his head and said, "Oh. Right. My bad. This is just for the raccoons. Can't have a maggot farm with the raccoons eating all my product." <br /><br />"We can't have that now can we?" She threw her hand in the air. <br /><br />"Just kidding," he said and shot her. <br /><br />Then he threw her body over his shoulder and carried it to the pit filled with all the other dead people he used to know. <br /><br />"Twelve down and thirty-seven to go." <br /><br />I'm sorry, but I couldn't help myself=)Me, Myself and a Rubik'S Cubehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02181594915587473760noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-74879557548088105692010-04-15T21:31:42.110-07:002010-04-15T21:31:42.110-07:00"Spring had melted into summer by the time sh..."Spring had melted into summer by the time she returned to the meadow. The grass was crisp and wet against her neck. Her eyes were drawn to the sky, filtered through branches of the tree above her, webbed across the sky."<br /><br />Totally hard, Michelle! For me, this is a major lesson in backing up because *cringe* I don't really do it.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-67524436707030084512010-04-15T17:09:29.146-07:002010-04-15T17:09:29.146-07:00I'm still laughing over the texting line. That...I'm still laughing over the texting line. That's great! Now I'm going to write Cinders imagining them all with cell phones in their dresses and pockets. Hehehe.Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-51638373102182253482010-04-15T17:07:08.895-07:002010-04-15T17:07:08.895-07:00Michelle: Sorry, I couldn't resist.Michelle: Sorry, I couldn't resist.scott g.f.baileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05726743149139510832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-63458007392851609852010-04-15T16:48:04.172-07:002010-04-15T16:48:04.172-07:00Scott: Nice. I think I will definitely use that on...<b>Scott:</b> Nice. I think I will definitely use that one instead of mine. ;)Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-82286352017261104162010-04-15T16:46:39.780-07:002010-04-15T16:46:39.780-07:00Spring had melted into summer by the time she made...<i>Spring had melted into summer by the time she made it back to the meadow. The grass was thick and green, staining her dress when she lay down. She stared up at the sky, the birds with their crisp new feathers, the trees scattering around her.<br /><br />When he appeared, his clothes were new, lighter, possibly Italian; certainly not ready-wear. Small white flowers were still in his hair, like the stars echoed in his eyes.<br /><br />"Did you just text me?" he asked.<br /><br />She nodded as he held her to his feet, his fingers wrong and slender. He sledded her to a path she had never seen before, and scolded her to remove her shoes. The dirt was soft between her toes. Her toes began to sing.</i>scott g.f.baileyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05726743149139510832noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-44971682483075494332010-04-15T15:20:10.306-07:002010-04-15T15:20:10.306-07:00Thanks for the comments everyone! This is lovely t...Thanks for the comments everyone! This is lovely to have you participate.<br /><br /><b>Missy:</b> Nice to see you around! Yes, you've seen that piece before, I do believe. Maybe. I did it in college, but I'm not sure exactly when. It's never been published anywhere.<br /><br /><b>Scott:</b> Not even trying! Gah! Oh well, that's okay.<br /><br /><b>Tara:</b> Yes! There is always the hope of something better!Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-45362878846461914292010-04-15T14:03:48.279-07:002010-04-15T14:03:48.279-07:00I'm still revising the opening, so I'd pro...I'm still revising the opening, so I'd probably wind up with yet another new version instead of the old. At least with rewriting, you can sometimes come up with something better.Tara McClendonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07246124060126729229noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-84212714803249209472010-04-15T12:18:01.005-07:002010-04-15T12:18:01.005-07:00Not even going to try!
But . . . this is a perfec...Not even going to try!<br /><br />But . . . this is a perfect example of why I sometimes write scenes/chapters out of order. I know if I don't put pen to paper, right then and there, then I'm not going to be able to recreate it in exactly the same way when I eventually get to that point. : )Scotthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06905515473737579937noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-32490505479203964422010-04-15T12:11:37.768-07:002010-04-15T12:11:37.768-07:00Spring had melted into Summer by the time she made...Spring had melted into Summer by the time she made it back to the meadow. The trees were blooming and the grass felt cool on her neck as she lay gazing up at the sky, watching birds flying back and forth.<br /><br />Hmmmm. Now I'm going to go back and read it and see how I did. :)<br /><br />Congrats on your piece in Rose and Thorn. I loved it! Have I possibly read it before? It sounded familiar. Maybe it just sounded like you. :)Missyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03555149777388115644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-64580963005901520992010-04-15T11:59:46.393-07:002010-04-15T11:59:46.393-07:00Thanks for your entries, everyone! This is really ...Thanks for your entries, everyone! This is really fun to see reconstructions of the same paragraph.<br /><br /><b>Tricia:</b> That's a very true statement! That makes me feel better, so thank you. :)Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-30799724946055089402010-04-15T11:18:03.915-07:002010-04-15T11:18:03.915-07:00Spring had melted into summer by the time she got ...Spring had melted into summer by the time she got back to the meadow. The grass was cool and thick against her neck. Birds chattered in the leafy green above.<br /><br />Oh, well, I think I remember the gist of the scene. I find that is the part that matters in reconstruction. Sometimes I don't have anything to write on when I get an idea but if I visualize it, I can write it later. One writer I heard once said if he lost every he wrote it wouldn't matter, because he was a writer, so he would write again.Tricia J. O'Brienhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05993110400088806252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-45578974330440135682010-04-15T09:15:30.066-07:002010-04-15T09:15:30.066-07:00Spring had melted into summer by the time she retu...Spring had melted into summer by the time she returned to the meadow. The grass was lush and cool on her neck as she lay down, staring into the cloudless sky. The birds chattered away, their delicate feet perched on branches sporting crisp new leaves.<br /><br /><br />Okay, so I cheated a little bit (primarily because my first attempt didn't make much sense after I re-read it). I'm sorry about your loss of the words, but congrats on the publication.Erichttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07823808700523297184noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-14444307926946432192010-04-15T09:02:06.908-07:002010-04-15T09:02:06.908-07:00Spring had melted into summer when she returned to...Spring had melted into summer when she returned to the meadow. The long flowing grass felt good on her neck as she lay watching the clouds drift across the blue sky. New leaves were emerging from buds on the branches gently waving in the breeze. Sweet birdsong lulled her into a light slumber.<br /><br />In my defense, this is not the type of writing I usually do.Chuck H.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07266126276487521854noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-81512260610869072212010-04-15T08:55:00.043-07:002010-04-15T08:55:00.043-07:00Spring had melted into summer by the time she made...Spring had melted into summer by the time she made it back to the meadow. The grass was thick and cool against her neck as she lay down on it. Above her the branches were growing new leaves. <br /><br />That's all I remember. I doubt it's very helpful! I'm sorry you lost some of your writing, Michelle, but I always take comfort in the idea that your best writing will return to you. I often rewrite my own passages from memory to find out that some of my favorite lines come back, even if it's unintentional.Davin Malasarnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09385823575081492949noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-72197177049614154542010-04-15T08:34:49.358-07:002010-04-15T08:34:49.358-07:00Spring had melted into summer by the time she retu...Spring had melted into summer by the time she returned to the meadow. The grass was thick and green, and felt good on her neck when she lay down. The breeze was crisp, and clouds floated across a sky as bright as the stars reflected in his eyes. Birds were chirping in the in the background. <br /><br />Wow; not easy. Not nearly as good as I remember your original. I think if I lost my work I'd like to recapture the feeling of the original, but that it would be better to use almost entirely new inventions rather than try to incorrectly call to mind what I'd done before. Because you get a weak copy of the original rather than something fresh and new on its own.Jabezhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09541471929373540252noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-52944827939035813522010-04-15T08:27:14.353-07:002010-04-15T08:27:14.353-07:00Everyone, I just added an addendum that you can re...Everyone, I just added an addendum that you can re-read the paragraph and then type it in. I'm thinking it was too difficult to remember if you didn't know you were going to have to remember it. I guess it doesn't really matter. This is all just for fun. :)<br /><br /><b>Carolyn:</b> I've had that happen, too!Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-36930931480073590852010-04-15T08:24:08.691-07:002010-04-15T08:24:08.691-07:00Shoot! I already can't remember. See how good ...Shoot! I already can't remember. See how good I am. I have to rewrite a chapter that I was sure I saved, but can't find anywhere. It makes me sad. Oh well. =)Carolyn V.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15456210036213016603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-22888030888023693402010-04-15T08:18:55.699-07:002010-04-15T08:18:55.699-07:00Crimey: All attempts count! Mainly because I don&#...<b>Crimey:</b> All attempts count! Mainly because I don't suspect a lot of people will participate. I could be proven wrong. But consider yourself in. :)Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-2848792117421371992010-04-15T08:17:57.478-07:002010-04-15T08:17:57.478-07:00All I remember was "Spring melted into summer...All I remember was "Spring melted into summer" and like Lois, I am can't remember anymore. To my defense, I have a terrible memory. <br /><br />However, it was a beautiful passage. Keep at it. :)About Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10011023963327391019noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-61587796088781871242010-04-15T08:07:39.722-07:002010-04-15T08:07:39.722-07:00Lois: I will count you as trying!<b>Lois:</b> I will count you as trying!Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-89296913203511731492010-04-15T08:06:33.511-07:002010-04-15T08:06:33.511-07:00Yeah. Spring was the first word, and then, um... ...Yeah. Spring was the first word, and then, um... I got distracted because I thought it sounded like it was a girl. I loved the images, but there's no way I could remember without cheating. So I'll be honest. I can hardly do this sort of thing with my own writing that I've agonized over.lotusgirlhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06663641163048764869noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-66935173639661803482010-04-15T07:55:12.178-07:002010-04-15T07:55:12.178-07:00Stephanie: Where's your paragraph? Come on! I&...<b>Stephanie:</b> Where's your paragraph? Come on! I'm sorry to hear you had to rewrite, too. It's much easier when it's an open-book rewrite. :)<br /><br /><b>Simon:</b> Nice! I LOVE that you added squirrels. I don't know why, but that just makes me smile. <br /><br />Rewriting happens, whether it's intentional or something like this. It's a good test to strengthen my memory, I suppose.<br /><br />Thank you for your paragraph!Michelle D. Argylehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09696465137285587646noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2092805684169371138.post-64407122528677977222010-04-15T07:51:05.286-07:002010-04-15T07:51:05.286-07:00Hmm...
"Spring had melted into summer by the...Hmm...<br /><br />"Spring had melted into summer by the time she returned to the meadow. The grass was long and flowing in the fresh breeze. It was cool on her neck as she lay gazing at the sky, the brightening branches of trees, the squirrels dancing in the crisp air."<br /><br />Okay, I completely forgot what your paragraph said. Erm.. there we go then.<br /><br />P.S. I hope never to have to rewrite any of my stories from memory. I know I'll have to, but I hope not to. Don't shatter my dream yet. Thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.com