Who's there?
Boo
Boo who?
Why are you crying?
The awkwardness of a crying character came up for me this weekend when I was reading one of my favorite writers and a tear trailed down his character's cheek to the pillow.
I hate it when I describe a tear running down a cheek to a pillow. I hate it when my character's tears well up. Or when my character's choke back a sob. For me, having a character cry is one of the most awkward things I have to write.
So, how do you do it if you do it? Do your characters cry?
Note added later: Check out VR Barkowski's and Michelle's comments on this too.
Wow, I can't wait to see what other people have to say here. In my current chapter, I am having the toughest time describing crying and laughter. The English language seems limited in these areas.
ReplyDelete:D
ReplyDeleteDon't know about the English language, since I write in Portuguese, but when I have a character crying, I just write they cried. I mean, I have a book ending with the protagonist (the narrator) crying, and he goes and says: "all I could do was close my eyes; I closed my eyes, and cried." The end ;)
I never write much about tears and tears on the pillow, though... That does seem a bit awkward.
What about tears in ears?
ReplyDeleteTears in beers?
Very interesting question. People cry, so characters will. One way might be to mention some of the other physical aspects, such as ache in chest, sting in eyes, strange sounds from throat, etc. but then segue into the cause of the pain or into hiatus, leaving the reader to make the assumption that the tears fell.
ReplyDeleteMy books are usually character driven so I get into their emotions a lot. But I enjoy writing about crying. It's the one emotion most everyone is familiar with. It's not just the outside symptoms of crying, tears are just a result of inner turmoil. If you get your audience into the swelling throat, the wobbly voice, the dropping heart, whatever, you don't have to spend much time on tears on pillows.
ReplyDeleteIf the crying is just a purple description of a tear, it will be awkward. The important thing in the writing is the build up of emotional tension that leads to the crying.
ReplyDeleteMy first book was very dark, lots of near crying (swallowing tears, tears stinging eyes, pooling, flooding, blinking them back, eyes glittering with unshed tears... etc). Actual crying involved bursting into tears or hot tears spilling. Tears burning cheeks, streaming, and flowing. It was a very damp book.
ReplyDeleteThat said, it was really the other non-verbals and the MC's POV that delivered the emotion, not the tears.
I'm a bully so I make my characters cry all the time. Here are some excerpts from a chapter of my WIP where my heroine Sophia has some issues. As you can see I'm a fan of tears. Maybe I need to branch out.
ReplyDeleteAfter passing the city limits, she pulled the mechohorse over, unable to see through the tears flooding her eyes.
No, she would never return to Podunk. Not ever again.
The problem with that one is that it's pouring rain so why doesn't the rain have the same effect on her eyes?
“Fine!” Sophia jumped up and ran. Shelby’s calls chased her, but Sophia sprinted through the long dark halls, out past the collapsed front door, and over to the carriage house. She climbed up the ladder to her loft, tears flowing freely, and collapsed in the straw-filled mat that passed for her bed. Grief wracked her body.
The last line might be a bit of telling.
Her body shook once more as she fought back the tears, her father’s face vivid in her memory.
Silence reigned. Sophia grabbed a handkerchief and blew her nose.
Don't forget sniffles!
“Oh Shelby!” A huge weight slipped from her shoulders. Sophia wrapped her arms around her sister, hot tears falling on her shoulder. “Thank you, thank you, you won’t regret this, I promise..."
And then there are tears of joy.
Mine usually break things or get eaten by shambling horrors first.
ReplyDeleteMy criers tend to be the strong silent type-- so far. But I realized in my second novel, thanks to a very helpful beta reader, that I was having my male MC cry a LOT. So now I watch out for it, and try to weed it out whenever possible.
ReplyDeleteI got a lot of flack for making my tough spy character cry in Monarch. So I pretty much took all that out and left it up to the reader's imagination to happen off stage. And for me, that worked better. For me, it's different for every character because how we write that character is usually coming from one specific POV, and that POV will flavor how dramatic or undramatic that crying scene is. For a teenage protagonist suffering from her first break up, yes, you might get the dramatic description of tears rolling down her cheeks. For Nick, my spy, not so much. From HIS POV, he's strong and wouldn't want to describe himself crying. Maybe choking up and feeling tears form, but that's about it. At least, I think I took it all out! I'd have to double check.
ReplyDeleteThe writing conference I went to this past weekend had a class on description, and I need to do a post about it. This relates to it, I think.
Genie, I'm curious to see what people have to say on this too. My guess is that a lot of people avoid crying altogether. That's interesting that you think it's the English language. Do other languages allow more range?
ReplyDeleteOlivia, thanks for your example. I think simple often does the job better than anything else can. That's cool that you write in Portuguese! If you ever want to post up some of your writing in your own language, feel free.
Genie, I think I actually had a tear go into an ear before. The woman was lying on her back in bed. No tears in beers, though.
Tricia, only recently have I felt like I've been able to leave out character reactions because I have enough clues on the page. I think that can be a really fun strategy, and I always feel like some magic happens when I get it right.
Elizabeth, that's a great point, and it's something I try to do more and more. It's hard though! :) Only rarely has a book made me cry, but when it happens it's an amazing experience.
Rick, I agree. There does need to be that build up, at least for me. Although, once I read an opening of a book where a character was crying, and I thought that worked.
VR, great comment and observation. I think you're absolutely right, but I never quite thought of it like this before. It's sort of the corollary to what everyone else is saying. I think in my writing, the crying doesn't carry the emotion, but I still feel like it has to be there as a character response. (I'm going to mention your comment in the post--hope you don't mind.)
ReplyDeleteAndrew, thanks a lot for posting some examples! I'll say that for me, reading these did not bother me at all. I wonder if maybe when I'm writing it it feels more awkward than when I'm reading it.
Loren, good point. If my characters got eaten more often, I could avoid a lot of awkward crying scenes. I'm working on this in my cannibal novella!
L.T. Ah, finally someone saying that they avoid the tears. I actually thought most people would say this. Very interesting. I think I try to avoid it in my own writing more often now.
Michelle, I look forward to your post about description. I think you bring up a good point that the crying won't seem as dramatic (and not as disruptive) coming from some characters. I'll mention your comment in the post too.
I went looking for examples in my last couple of pieces, and came up with these:
ReplyDelete1. This was not how it had been last time, in New York. X had that time swallowed copious amounts of whiskey and rum, certainly, but he’d clung to Y, had cried on his shoulder and had sought him wordlessly in the night.
2. By the time she had gone through the brush and saw the horses standing along the bank of the stream, Hope was nearly in tears, angry over her ruined slippers and filthy skirt. She’d put a few choice words in William Bull’s ears about leaving her alone at the cabin so long.
3. The woman sobbed and gasped for air like one who had been saved from drowning.
Mostly, I don't let characters cry onstage. Or at all, really. Crying releases built-up tension and conflict, so it works against drama and I try not to do that. I also think that people cry way more in books/films than they do in real life and it's too often just sentimentality aimed at the reader's sympathies, and I think that's a cheat.
I don't go into much details about the crying. Sometimes, the build up of emotion that makes the reader cry is enough to let the reader know that the character is a) about to cry or b) is crying. If the scene evokes such an emotion out of a reader, isn't it likely that such emotions are also going on with the character?
ReplyDeleteI sometimes think - crying/laughing - that less is more. Forget the detailed descriptions and go with brief descriptions that convey the point but don't overwhelm or bore the reader. Just my thoughts.
S
I think someone should volunteer to host a Crying Blogfest! :)
ReplyDeleteLet's just get all this emotion out in the open.
I've been thinking about this. In the example I gave, those are mostly tears of frustration and humiliation. I think there's another kind of crying that's important in novels, and that kind of a cathartic release of deep emotions, usually somewhere near the climax of the novel.
It's one way a character can move past their issues, by letting the grief kind of overwhelm them. Definitely not something you want to sprinkle in there. Save it for the big stuff.
And if a dude cries, it better be because his mom or his dog died, (or his team lost the Superbowl), not because the Cafe is out of French Roast.
Crying is the human condition at its best. It's personal and raw, or perversely, fake and deceptive.
ReplyDeleteI wrote a novel about a war vet who could not cry for over twenty years. When she finally let go it was a flood of tears of shame, horror and relief.
Crying is culture but personal, a contradiction that defies standard description. Crying is magic.
*******************
Sometime later, her sobs turn into hiccups, and then silence.
“Did she say who she was going to meet?”
“No.” She talks to my shoulder.
Of course not. That would be too easy. I try to repress a sigh.
“Do you know if it was a boy her age, or an older man?”
“No. I thought it was going to be a boy, but now I don’t know. She didn’t like any of the boys we knew. She said he wanted her not to tell, so it could be a surprise to her friends later.”
The sheer evilness of that causes me to shudder.
“Rachel, look into my eyes, Honey, look at me.”
She does, looking—broken.
Just like me.
“It’s not your fault. Her killer stalked and seduced her. If you didn’t give her those things, this case may never have been solvable. But since you did, I feel I can figure it out. I feel I can catch the bad guy.”
She looks at me, her lifeline back to the real world.
Suddenly Rachel doesn’t look like a teen contemplating declaring herself an Adult anymore. Suddenly she looks like a girl—a young girl—unsure, sad and vulnerable. She buries herself in my shoulder again, and my long red hair spills onto her, almost like a blanket.
“I miss my mommy,” she whispers.
I did okay up until that point. Her confession, however, is a knife in my gut. My own tears well up, yet again, unbidden and raw, hated and despised, salty and stinging.
I miss my mommy, too. God, how I miss her.
All my characters are manly men and strong women. No crying allowed.
ReplyDeleteI find it works best when you leave out the melodrama -- especially in a scene where someone is crying. I tend to put this into swift, declaratory sentences that can then be a base for more intense characteristics.
ReplyDeleteFor example:
Bethany was a wreck. It looked as though she had just finished crying.
Followed by...
She blinked sharply and her nostrils constricted a bit when she inhaled. "I'm fine," she said. "Really."
Sure they cry, but it's always either obliquely or simply described. They either weep, or they have wetness on their cheeks. That's about it. Lingering on the crying makes it seem trite and melodramatic, to me. (I could be proved wrong on this... and now I think of it, I wonder if I could write a flash fiction where a character is crying THE WHOLE TIME. Now THAT would be a challenge.)
ReplyDeleteThe whole business of tears or showing sadness, frustration, anger, sometimes joy by crying is so hard to write well. My characters do a lot of crying, so one would think I’d find some ‘creative’ ways to handle it. The best way I’ve found, is to delete the sentence or scene where the crying takes place. Somewhere I read that it is a good idea not to have your protagonist [preferably none of your characters] cry within the first ten pages of a story – at the time I didn’t understand why – but when I read work of other writers I admire, so often when it comes to ‘crying tears’ their otherwise profound and excellent writing become schmaltzy sounding.
ReplyDeleteListed in Writer Magazine as one of the worst creative-writing clichés: A single tear that runs, flows, trickles or glistens.
And finally ... the A-1, worst, most pathetic creative writing cliche ever:
• Personification! of any breeze, storm, body of water, cloud, fog, building, mountain, mist, cloud, swamp, bar, tree, flower, flack, fish, portrait, planet, star, farm animal, city, hamlet, time of day, room, weapon, idem of clothing, food, forest animal or Grecian urn. Such as: [The despairing clouds wept tears that splattered my soul with despair. ]Or: The pursuing wind stopped in its tracks. like a tracker suddenly suspicious of being tracked. [Although personification is the issue at hand, if written in reference to a person, the phrasing would be just as sappy.]
Three tearful scenes from a short story I’m revising:
1.) “This is my house, Heather.” Jill takes a deep breath and lets it out. She speaks softly and slowly. “I suggest you speak to me in a respectful tone of voice and watch what you say.”
“Ha. You’re only a believer in respecting other people’s privacy when it’s your stuff.”
“I am just about to slap the holy shit out of you.” Jill throws open the door and gives Heather a shove into her room.
“What’s wrong with you, Mom?” Heather whines.
Heather’s computer is on, the screen asleep. Jill backs off afraid of what she might see, then taps the mouse and a video of what happened the night before pops up, far more graphic than what was shown on television. “Did you take this?”
Heather nods.
“Sit down. Who are these people?”
Heather’s lip trembles. “Why are you so mad at me? I didn’t do anything.”
“You didn’t do anything. You were there. Do you see what I’m seeing here?” Heather nods. “What do you see? Tell me. Heather…I want you to tell me what you see.”
“Mom…You’re being a bully.” She wipes her nose on her shirt sleeve. “I think the guy standing next to Grace is Juan Alvera.”
#
2.) Steve sits down on Heather’s bed. The vitality drains from his face. His skin becomes slack, the laugh wrinkles around his mouth and eyes droop. He looks old.
“No,” he says. “That’s not right.”
He stands, goes to the window and looks down the street. His body is shaking and she wonders if he’s crying. He takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders. “He’s our son. We’re supposed to support him, not crucify him.”
#
3. “Mom.” Heather waits until she’s sure she has her mother’s attention. “Do you think…am I evil?” Her throat closes on the last word and evil comes out squeaky.
Jill takes a deep breath and lets it out. “I don’t know. Do you think you are?”
“I don’t know either.” Silent tears drip from Heather’s cheeks and chin, her nose is running but she doesn’t seem to notice.
“Get a tissue, Honey.”
The whole business of tears or showing sadness, frustration, anger, sometimes joy by crying is so hard to write well. My characters do a lot of crying, so one would think I’d find some ‘creative’ ways to handle it. The best way I’ve found, is to delete the sentence or scene where the crying takes place. Somewhere I read that it is a good idea not to have your protagonist [preferably none of your characters] cry within the first ten pages of a story – at the time I didn’t understand why – but when I read work of other writers I admire, so often when it comes to ‘crying tears’ their otherwise profound and excellent writing become schmaltzy sounding.
ReplyDeleteListed in Writer Magazine as one of the worst creative-writing clichés: A single tear that runs, flows, trickles or glistens.
And finally ... the A-1, worst, most pathetic creative writing cliche ever:
• Personification! of any breeze, storm, body of water, cloud, fog, building, mountain, mist, cloud, swamp, bar, tree, flower, flack, fish, portrait, planet, star, farm animal, city, hamlet, time of day, room, weapon, idem of clothing, food, forest animal or Grecian urn. Such as: [The despairing clouds wept tears that splattered my soul with despair. ]Or: The pursuing wind stopped in its tracks. like a tracker suddenly suspicious of being tracked. [Although personification is the issue at hand, if written in reference to a person, the phrasing would be just as sappy.]
Three tearful scenes from a short story I’m revising:
1.) “This is my house, Heather.” Jill takes a deep breath and lets it out. She speaks softly and slowly. “I suggest you speak to me in a respectful tone of voice and watch what you say.”
“Ha. You’re only a believer in respecting other people’s privacy when it’s your stuff.”
“I am just about to slap the holy shit out of you.” Jill throws open the door and gives Heather a shove into her room.
“What’s wrong with you, Mom?” Heather whines.
Heather’s computer is on, the screen asleep. Jill backs off afraid of what she might see, then taps the mouse and a video of what happened the night before pops up, far more graphic than what was shown on television. “Did you take this?”
Heather nods.
“Sit down. Who are these people?”
Heather’s lip trembles. “Why are you so mad at me? I didn’t do anything.”
“You didn’t do anything. You were there. Do you see what I’m seeing here?” Heather nods. “What do you see? Tell me. Heather…I want you to tell me what you see.”
“Mom…You’re being a bully.” She wipes her nose on her shirt sleeve. “I think the guy standing next to Grace is Juan Alvera.”
#
2.) Steve sits down on Heather’s bed. The vitality drains from his face. His skin becomes slack, the laugh wrinkles around his mouth and eyes droop. He looks old.
“No,” he says. “That’s not right.”
He stands, goes to the window and looks down the street. His body is shaking and she wonders if he’s crying. He takes a deep breath, squares his shoulders. “He’s our son. We’re supposed to support him, not crucify him.”
#
3. “Mom.” Heather waits until she’s sure she has her mother’s attention. “Do you think…am I evil?” Her throat closes on the last word and evil comes out squeaky.
Jill presses her lips together, forces herself to look directly at Heather. “I don’t know. Do you think you are?”
“I don’t know either.” Silent tears drip from Heather’s cheeks and chin, her nose is running but she doesn’t seem to notice.
“Get a tissue, Honey.”
My crying scenes are mostly character driven too. Who's doing the crying; why; who else is there; what's the situation. A lot of times its noting all those things and simply stating they were crying also.
ReplyDeleteSometime they'll "wipe dampness from their cheek" or "eyes filled" or some other cliche that's just unavaoidable.
Iapetuss: Well, you get my vote for someone to "volunteer" a crying blog fest. People who see the need should be responsible for filling that responsibility.
........dhole
I'll be anxiously awaiting Michelles description post to see if there is a new way we can make into a cliche.
Some people never cry and so, too, some characters. It is what it is. In my first novel I found it harder to write in the crying than the sex. But cry they did and the other too.
ReplyDeleteThis post is funny.
ReplyDeleteI write dark humor so crying is almost always fun for me to write. Either a crier makes my POV character squirm, or an unhinged character just looks ridiculous while doing. It's never so about the sadness that causes the crying. I think it was Toni Morisson who said if your character cries on the page, your reader won't.
If I want to hone in on that sadness, my characters fight the tears. Or, the best way to avoid it altogether is to cut the scene right after the character learns the sad news. This avoids having to go into melodrama at all & has a strong impact.
After reading the other comments, I start to think Genie might be right. It may be something with the English language. In portuguese, "tear" is an awkward word, and therefore isn't used as much. When it is used, it doesn't feel like much of a cliche. Unless it is "tears rolled" etc, which in Portuguese sounds TERRIBLY corny.
ReplyDeleteThe English language is a bit more simple, I think, mostly because the written language is closer to the spoken language than what happens in the Portuguese language. I feel it is easier to experiment with sintax in Portuguese, and not only because it is my native language, but because the English sintax is a bit more limited.
I'm probably rambling, but.
I don't see the point in describing tears or the crying itself. Unless it is a particular crying, and in that case it couldn't possibly be a cliche. But maybe that's because I write more crime fiction than anything else, and when the victims cry the narrator is usually pissed off they won't get to the point, etc.
(Yeah, I'm rambling...)
Yeah, my characters cry, but I try not to make it a habit. I have more trouble writing a love scene. Oh well, I guess we all have our hang ups.
ReplyDeleteScott B., I think in your first two examples the crying seems very tangential. It isn't used as the highlight of the scene, which makes it much less annoying for me. Maybe I should try that. The third one is interesting too. I think for that one I'd have to see how it fits into the story. You're right about the crying being a release of tension. I've never had that keep me from having my characters cry. Hmm. Maybe I'm releasing too much tension early on in stories. I'll think about that.
ReplyDeleteScott M., I think the less is more advice is good. And, I should mention that the example I'm taking my inspiration from was just one sentence in a much longer work. It didn't annoy me in the work, but it caught my attention because it made me think, "Wow, even a writer as great as this guy does a crying scene the same way."
Andrew, Re: the catharsis, when I think of crying scenes that have worked well, they typically fit into that category.
Anthony, thanks for the example! I really appreciate it. That first line is a great unique description of crying.
Chuck, I'd be curious to see if you ever allow it.
Ken, I think your example works really well. It sort of falls into that tangential crying category. I will definitely think more about that.
Simon, Andrew might be planning a crying blogfest, so get your flash piece ready. :) I think you should give up the flash and write an entire novel where the character is crying. On second thought, maybe I'll do that. :)
Marie, I've been deleting the sentences that have the crying too. It's almost like magic the way the action still seems to be there even though it doesn't actual describe it. I love that. Thanks for the great examples. What I like about your crying scenes is that the characters seem hard. The crying seems to be a real indication that something has broken down in a major way.
Donna: "People who see the need should be responsible for filling that responsibility." Have you been talking to my boss by any chance? :)
Yvonne, Crying so often leads to sex and vice versa, doesn't it?
disobedient, some great points there. Maybe it is the fact that crying is so cliched that makes cutting it, implying it instead, a good thing. That makes a lot of sense.
Olivia, I appreciate the rambling! Feel free to do it more often!
Kathi, true. Maybe it's just me. I just always feel awkward when I have a character cry. The sex scenes feel okay to me for some reason. I've never had a problem writing them. But, maybe they suck. That's always a possibility.
Very tricky.
ReplyDeleteI think it's the writer's job to make the reader cry for the character whenever possible. Different somehow,if it's a child crying but describing your m/c crying is a bit too 'telling' isn't it?