Friday, August 12, 2011

Friday Filler! On Being Defensive

Last night Mighty Reader and I met for drinks and dinner before going off to see "How to Steal A Million," which is a 1966 William Wilder comedy starring Audrey Hepburn and Peter O'Toole. It was the final night of an Audrey Hepburn film festival and the movie's quite fine and I don't know why it's not better known. But that's all just setting, isn't it?

Last night Mighty Reader and I were talking about writing, which is hardly a surprise because I have very few topics of conversation aside from What I'm Writing Now and Mighty Reader is very patient with me. A few days ago I finished the rough draft of my philosophical detective story and while I let it sit ignored for a while before I work on revisions, I am already toying with another book. As we discussed this new writing project, I became increasingly defensive. Being the overly twitchy sort that I am, I blamed my defensiveness on Mighty Reader, accusing her of actively disapproving my idea. Later I realized that what had actually happened was that this new novel makes me extremely uncomfortable and, really, embarrassed. Which is, I think, precisely why I need to write it.

That question (why I'm writing this particular novel at this particular time) is actually what put me on the defensive last night. The new novel has a singularly unappealing lead male character and the lead female character isn't particularly charming either and the book is not anything like a tale of redemption or growth, at least as far as I can tell. My description of it, Mighty Reader tells me, did not make her want to read the book so why do I want to write it?

One thing I have learned over the years is that the more uncomfortable a writing project makes me, the more I must be on to something. Also, there are some big technical and artistic challenges presented by this new project, and the other thing I've learned over the years is that each book I write must have a higher degree of difficulty than the last or I'm just not challenged enough by the project to approach it with enthusiasm. I have a growing list of projects I've abandoned because they no longer look like they'll be hard to write. Something about that seems backwards, but that's the way I roll, as the kids say.

So I have set myself what seems to be an impossible challenge (for me at least): writing about uncomfortable and embarrassing subjects that I shy away from through the stories of people I don't necessarily like and producing a beautiful narrative that people will love to read. Well, it will give me something to do, won't it?

In the mean time, tonight it's "Porgy and Bess" from the Seattle Opera. We've never been to an opera before. I'm wearing fancy cuff links and expensive shiny black shoes.

15 comments:

  1. Cuff links are counter intuitive to me. But, yay!, Friday Filler! I'm glad your writing your next challenge, Bailey. I'm glad and happy and glad.

    This weekend my aunt from Thailand is coming to visit, and I'm very excited. She's never been out of Thailand before, has probably never been on a plane before. (She inspired some characters in my short stories.) She lives on a farm in Thailand and uses rain water from jugs. The last time I went to visit her, she pulled on my leg hairs and said I inherited my hairy legs from her. :)

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  2. It makes me think back to high school when we had to read The Great Gatsby. I just didn't get it. Mostly I think it was because none of the main characters seemed to have any redeeming qualities and if I couldn't find anyone in the book to like, I couldn't like the book.

    I know it's a classic that lots of people do enjoy so my guess is that if I can get past that there's probably some really great stuff.

    Perhaps it's the challenge that you speak of - having a book that seems so likely to be disliked because of the characters but making it something interesting and worthwhile. Maybe not the easiest road but it should be an interesting journey.

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  3. Rick: Thanks!

    Davin: Say hey to your aunt for me. Cuff links are cool. I only own one shirt with French cuffs but I'm constantly on the lookout for more, but I see so few that I like. First-world problems.

    Eliza: I love Gatsby. The likeability of characters in fiction never really occurs to me. What I like are interesting and compelling characters, or at least realistic characters. As a writer, I love all my characters so I don't make any effort to have them sympathetic or whatever. I just want them to be well written. So the discomfort level of the themes and characters in the new project is all my own. I can't really consider if the reader will be uncomfortable; it's just not something I'm able to do.

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  4. Also, in the new book, I'm not using quotation marks to punctuate dialogue. I have come to realize that they're just not necessary. Yes, I finally have embraced my inner High Modernist.

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  5. I did that for a spell and then got back to using them. Why? I don't remember.

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  6. I've written the first couple of pages of the new book and I just sort of naturally found myself not using quotation marks. I like the look of the page without them, which surprises me, but I'm going with it.

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  7. It's definitely a cleaner look and it somehow pulls me deeper into the fiction. I have an easier time looking through the words, in a way.

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  8. I love Billy WIlder (and Audrey Hepburn!)! I don't think I've seen this one- though the premise sounds very familiar..What a coincidence- we went for a movie yesterday too in a film-festival like setting...:) Every Thursday for the past couple of months, the media studies/film department on campus has been screening a movie in a large theatre like hall. I finally managed to catch one yesterday- Antonioni's Blow UP which I thoroughly enjoyed..I've seen only two of his movies, but I find I always learn from his films (directly/indirectly) how to solve certain problems in my writing. In this movie- there is this big issue that seems like the premise of the story- but there are a million other things in between that the director is clearly more interested in..It sort of reminds me of what you say you are doing with the detective story.

    Lavanya

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  9. oops-Just realized - How to steal a million is by Willian Wyler- not Billy Wilder.

    Lavanya

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  10. Lavanya: I see I conflated (as usual) William Wyler and Billy Wilder. I like them both and there's a real similarity to their work so I treat them like they're the same guy.

    This winter there's a film noir festival (9 films, I think) that we're going to see. Last winter went to a David Lean series that was very good. All early films (the first half were really Noel Coward films where Lean assisted in the productions). It was cool to see "Oliver Twist" and "Hobson's Choice" on the big screen.

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  11. Good luck at the opera Scot.

    .......dhole

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  12. Your post reminds me of the saying by Eleanor Roosevelt, I believe, that goes something like this: I must the thing I think i cannot do.

    French Cuffs and shiny black shoes. Fancy.

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  13. Donna: I have high hopes. One of the associate deans here went last week and she raved about it.

    Yat-Yee: Eleanor Roosevelt rocked. Also, here are the shoes.

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  14. Ooh. Cool shoes with a a great name and international flair. Remember to hold your head high now.

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