I have this little theory about writing books. It's not based on anything factual or scientific. I've simply observed over time how writer friends of mine learn to move on from a specific book they're writing, or have written, or even published. First books, it seems, are the hardest to let go. I know because I've only barely begun to let go of my first book after seventeen years. Issues, I'm telling you. And it's not just that I think it's a problem when you can't let go of a book; it's that I think the more quickly you let go, the better writer you're becoming.
The reason I'm saying any of this is because I've noticed that after my sixth book - which was a beast to write, I'm telling you - has already been easier to let go than any of my other books. It was the hardest, emotionally, to write. I put more of myself into that book than any other book I've ever written. You'd think I would be completely 100% attached, right? Wrong. I've already begun to let go of that book. In comparison to my other books, it has felt like an easier process to finish that book and move on.
I'm not sure why this is because I don't think any writer learns to love their craft less the more they write. And I don't think stories become less important to a writer. I think it's a point we reach in a professional career, published or not, to step back and see things through a different lens. If you want to keep writing books and put yourself completely into them, I believe you have to let go of each previous one you've written. For instance, I couldn't let go of Monarch, even after it was published last fall. It took me months to let go of that book even after it was out there being read and reviewed by people. It hurt to keep holding on. I couldn't work on anything major, and decided to go back to my first book for major revisions (the one I was still holding onto so tightly). But Monarch was so close, and then I jumped into this other book I was still so attached to, and I became quite a bit of a mess, unable to write anything new for the longest time. Finally, I let go of Monarch. I'm not sure how I did it, but I did, and I was able to write new material again.
I don't really have any advice. This is just an observation I've had with my own work. I've also watched friends go through this, so I'm not alone. I don't think it's healthy to hold onto a book too tightly after a certain period. It's certainly important while you're writing. I won't argue with that!
I had trouble ending revisions on my first book. I just kept tweaking the hell out of it. I couldn't stop!
ReplyDeleteThen I told myself that I was being crazy and I believed myself and I just stopped. :)
Cynthia, it can be a real hindrance! Tweaking is a real downfall for me, but I think I'm getting better and letting things stay where they are. It also helps that I have an editor now, though. I'll admit that has made things a little more streamlined.
DeleteI'm happy you found a good place for your first book!
I definitely had one (my second novel manuscript) that I had to just let go of. I knew it would need a complete rewrite and since it was basically written as a gift for someone and they loved it as it was, I gave up ever doing anything else with it. It served its purpose as intended- it reached its audience.
ReplyDeleteIt's funny, now that I've finally finished the third novel (the one I've had to work longest on because of being ill for periods when I couldn't write) I'm ready to let it go- to send it off into the world and let it be what it will. I'm trying to decide how best to do that now, but I find in my head I'm already thinking "What's next?"
Great post.
~bru
I hope you find the right path for that book! Hard decisions can make for really great results, so I say take your time. :)
DeleteMy first novel--unprintable, awful, unreadable--still nags at the back of my mind. I wish I could completely forget it. My most recent novel, the detective story, is something I've already left behind. I have no feelings about it at all. The one before that (Cocke & Bull) I think is a beautiful book and I'd love it to be published but because of the dark tone and subject matter I'll probably be disappointed there, but I do keep it in mind too much. The one before that, the Shakespeare one that Rhemalda is publishing, ate away at me and no matter how much time or how many other books I put between me and it, I could not leave it alone. Even now, since I have a couple of months before the final MS is due to the editor, I have plans to go over it once more and work on the prose and maybe do some other things, just because I can't keep my damned hands off of it. It will be a great relief to have it officially taken away from me.
ReplyDeleteThe book I'm working on now is something I'm really putting a lot of myself into, really digging deep into my own memories and emotions to write, but I know that when I'm done with it I'll easily move on to the next book. Which is all to say that, you know, I think you're right about this letting go stuff!
I hope you don't run into what I did with Monarch, and still not let go of it even after it's out of your hands. That made for a not-so-fun ride. But yeah, letting go is important if you want to keep writing books!
DeleteI have my own weird view of letting go. Describing it is a little easier now that I have a dog. A dog that barks at about one in ten dogs. A dog that growls and lunges at about one in 15 dogs. At first, when I was walking him after his first sign of aggression, I was worried all the time. I held onto his leash tightly, and I wouldn't let him get close to anyone else. Then, some guy in the street told me I had to loosen up because my own fears were translating to the dog. He stayed with me for about 10 minutes on the curb at about 10 at night while my dog barked at his two very patient dogs. Finally, Peanut calmed down and I was able to loosen up on the leash and gain some confidence in him. I didn't let go of the leash completely. I still kept my eye on him. But I also had to trust that he would be okay because my trust in him helped to ensure that he was okay. I view letting go of books the same way. I have to have confidence that they will do their job. And then I send them out. But I never let go of the leash completely.
ReplyDeleteI don't think it's possible to let go of the leash completely, and I don't think we should, but what a great story to illustrate my point! We should always be proud of our work, but loosening that leash is essential to move on and keep going - and show trust in ourselves.
DeleteI don't know that I ever totally let go, I have a very crowded back burner. I just resort to extended procrastination.
ReplyDeleteThat could work too...maybe. ;)
DeleteLetting go is extraordinarily difficult. The first book I ever wrote (which turned into a six book series) is not likely to make its way into the world any time soon. It has gotten easier with successive stories - I seem to release a book the moment the first draft is written (which makes it easier to accept particularly harsh edits, as well)...
ReplyDeleteWell, every book except one (or six)...
There really isn't much advice to offer someone struggling to let go except 'bite the bullet, baby!'
Oh, see that's great about letting go after the first draft! Because it really does help with needed distance for effective edits and revisions. Good luck with that six-book series!
DeleteWhen I let my first draft sit for two months, my friends kept telling me to use that time to begin a new book. I totally couldn't! Maybe I could've tried harder, but mainly it came down to feeling like I was betraying my other story. Craziness!
ReplyDeleteWelcome to not letting go...lol. I think the more you write and edit and revise, the more you'll be able to move on. But if you're like me, I can't completely let go and start a new book until the other one is pretty much completed and finalized.
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