Friday Filler! This Week's Episode: Bad Advice

Happy Friday, mighty writers! As usual, I am relieved and somewhat amazed to have survived the week. I am also somewhat amazed to be awake just now, as Mighty Reader and I were up late on a school night at the Pacific Northwest Ballet's dress rehearsal of "Cinderella." I've never attended a dress rehearsal of a ballet before and was surprised when, at the end of each act, the dancers would wander back on stage with the director, choreographer, dance coaches and God knows who else to go over anything that seemed a little rough. The children dancers rehearsing their curtain calls and bows was priceless. My point, however, has nothing to do with the cuteness of tiny people dressed as pumpkins and falling onto their backsides in public. No, my point is that I'm a bit tired and drifty so this post is likely to be even more hazy than usual. Good luck.

A couple of weeks ago I got an email from a friend of mine wherein he offered some writing advice. My friend is not a writer, and though I love him like a brother he also doesn't read much in the way of literary fiction. I'd been telling him about my next book project and how the story features a sailing ship. I want to make the ship into an actual character so that when something tragic happens to it, the reader will be sad.

My friend wrote a lengthy bit about that, giving me his best advice. I appreciate the effort and thought that went into it, but gosh, he was really off the mark and I found myself not a little annoyed. Honestly, everything he said was all wrong and I already know how I'm going to present the ship to the reader as a character (anthropomorphism, mostly).

Anyway, it occurs to me that once in a while someone will give me very specific (and usually unsolicited) advice about something I'm writing, and that advice will be so far from useful that it makes me cranky. Because I'm exceedingly self-aware and sensitive (shut up, you), I realize that I've probably given annoying, unsolicited bad advice myself. Heck, I can almost guarantee it, though I have no idea what it is because all my advice sounds to me like the wisdom of Solomon when I hear it coming out of my mouth.

So to anyone to whom I've given bad advice, I offer you my apologies. The more I write, the less comfortable I am telling people how to write. Which, you know, makes it hard to co-author a writing blog. Irony, right?

Also: Happy belated lunar new year! It's the year of the golden rabbit! As a rabbit, I warn you to treat my year well or I shall be very put out.

Also: Go Steelers!