I have been resisting the lure of the shiny new iPad thingie, because the last thing I want is another expensive toy to drag around all day and I don't really write on a computer; I tend to work longhand. But last night I was at the Apple Store and the salesperson showed me a bunch of iPad-only applications that might make my life as a writer a lot easier. For example:
iKnowWhatYouMean is a really cool add on to the iPad version of MS Word that uses predictive technology to change what you've written into what you actually meant to say. For $49 more you get the Limited Edition software version that can edit similes into metaphors, which is really really amazing.
iVeSeenThatBefore is a program that lets you enter the bare-bones plot of your story (in 3-act or 5-act structure), asks you what the genre is (comedy, tragedy, sf/f, etc) and then searches an online database to tell you if you've stolen the idea from a recent book or if you've stolen the idea from one of the classics.
iKnowYoureOutThere is one of those "force you to write" programs that you enter your normal schedule into including a regular block of time in which you should be writing, and when the clock comes around to that scheduled writing time, if you aren't actually using the iPad's writing software, it closes all other applications and opens MS Word and gives you a threatening message about being such a slacker. The message is customizable. If you aren't using the iPad at all during that writing time, it turns itself on and flashes lights and makes noise to attract your attention. Totally brilliant.
There are some more apps for writers but I didn't get those, because I'm not made out of money, you know. Anyway, the new iPad rawks and I think it's going to change the way I work. I'm very excited to start using it.
Happy Friday everyone! What's new with you?
Scott, Maybe this will finally fix your fiction! All these years I've been trying to think of a charming and cute way to tell you how bad you are without hurting your feelings. Now I don't have to!
ReplyDeleteYeah, the iPad will tell you everything you ever needed to know AND get you right on track. You'll have to think less! It'll be the bomb!
ReplyDeleteDomey: Thanks! I have high hopes now! There's a cool critique tool, too, called iCouldntFinishThis, that I'm going to buy soon.
ReplyDeleteMichelle: You still have to do all your own typing and stuff. Which really sucks.
ReplyDeleteMaybe I can get a iWillWriteScalesForYou app...
ReplyDeleteI've used iCouldnitFinishThis before. It was great. I had this story about a man who traveled back to Thailand to reunite with his long lost family. After the App, it turned out the man was already dead. It was great!
ReplyDeleteIf you had a Linux computer, you could get the Tolstoy Toybox, which takes any Tolstoy story/novel you like, and will change all the names, dates and locations into whichever ones you enter into it. Voila! Instant brand-new classic! I have a version of War and Peace that takes place at the office where I work. The accounting department plays Napolean's army. It's wicked cool.
ReplyDeleteYou need to jail break that iPad and install Ubuntu, Scott.
ReplyDeletePublishers love books written on that kind of platform because it shows that you're actually trying.
Ubunto uses OpenOffice, so you still end up sending Word docs to agents, who are all reading your MS on iPads and iPhones anyway, using the handy iRejectThis app.
ReplyDeleteMy next iPad purchase will be StopWritingWithAnAudienceInMind. It was was rated five-stars by EelGuy_SGFB@gmail.com in the iTunes sore.
ReplyDeleteNevets: The same guy highly recommends the SuckItUp revisions suite, with the StopWhiningAndJustCutIt functions.
ReplyDeleteHey everyone, I just wrote a novel in three minutes. Yay!
ReplyDeleteIt just got rejected by 57 agents.
ReplyDeleteThe march of technology!
ReplyDelete3,037 rejections. It's going viral!
ReplyDeleteDomey, were you using iQuery? Did you remember to change the default from "shotgun approach" to "personalized"?
ReplyDeleteThanks, Scott. That has stopped the bleeding some. I got a rejection from my aunt in Thailand, and she doesn't even have a computer. She somehow sent it through the washing machine.
ReplyDeleteI just got the app iCame, iSaw, iTweeted - the ultimate social media app which will scan all of the blogs and Facebook pages you normally waste time on, compose pithy responses, and tweet them for you, so you can actually spend time WRITING.
ReplyDeleteIt came bundled with iBlogForU, iComment, and iCanGoViral.
You should steer clear, though, of iExpletiveDeleted, which automatically replies to all negative reviews with a raging tirade of self-satisfied ballistic illiterate rants. Not a good move.
-Alexandra MacKenzie
Pithy is important. Otherwise people think it's fake.
ReplyDeleteDomey: your aunt has the iCanTurnEverythingIntoAComputer app.
ReplyDeleteAny of you tried the newest version of iJustWantToGetThisThingDone?
i mistakenly purchased the iWine app, thinking it would help me out selecting an adult beverage. Instead, it generates typo-ridden blog posts complaining about how busy my life is, how the books industry is going down the tubes and the difficulty of writing/getting published/adulthood.
ReplyDeleteWhat a waste of 99 cents. I already did that!
Now, if only I could find that iWroteABestsellerWithEnormousRoyalties app. . .
The iLaughingSoHardMyFaceHurts app is great!
ReplyDeleteYat-Yee, iJustWantToGetThisThingDone doesn't work, unfortunately. Every time I try to use it, some bug sends me to gmail or blogger and I end up wasting more time.
ReplyDeleteThe worst thing about the iPad is that I can no longer write...
ReplyDeleteflash
...fiction.
Now I just have to figure out how to install these apps on my Nokia 3210!
ReplyDeleteThis is the best April Fool blogpost ever. Maybe your next anthology should be humor? You guys are hilarious.
ReplyDeleteThe aunt with the washing machine in Thailand had me laughing till I hurt.
LOL.
ReplyDeleteThat is all.
ROTFL.
I love my ipad way more than I ever did my now obsolete Kindle.
ReplyDeleteOMG, you guys are killing me. The iQuery bit is priceless.
ReplyDeleteNow I want an IPAD!
ReplyDeleteI have been loving Genre Wars. I plan to do a review on every short story in the book. I know you have another one out or coming out. Can't wait to get to that one too.
Didn't see this Friday. Thanks for the belated AFD laughs. :)
ReplyDeleteClarissa, we plan to do another round of Genre Wars in a year or two. We currently have our Notes From Underground anthology out. If you look on our blog to the right, there's a link. I know you're a Nevets fan. There's more of him in it. :)
ReplyDelete